If
you are going through a divorce or a romantic break-up you may be experiencing
many emotions....from anger, fear, disappointment, hopelessness toward the
future, sadness, to grief (this emotion sometimes is not recognized, but it can
be real). In many cases divorce is not a devastating loss, on the contrary, it
may make you happy or relieved, but in most cases, all of a sudden finding
oneself not being part of a couple hits us hard and sometimes we ask,
- How was I wrong?
- What mistake did I make?
- Could I have done something different?
- How did I not realize what was happening before?
To go through a
divorce or romantic break-up, you close a chapter in your life, but it does not
end your life. In front of you is a path that you can walk down with strength
and hope.
If you feel any
bitterness in your soul, let it go. It is not healthy to keep negative feelings
inside. If you think you are doing harm to your former spouse, you are wrong.
The person you are doing harm to is really yourself. Therefore, forgive and go
on with your life.
In the system
"The Eleven Principles of Transformation" in the third principle
"Go Deeper into the Spiritual Dimension" I elaborate on the issue of
forgiveness (besides gratitude and love). If we learn to forgive, we empower
ourselves. We choose to be happy and transform any romantic loss into an
extraordinary gain.
P.S. Part of
this article was taken from my book "Transform your Loss. Your Guide to
Strength and Hope"
Have a beautiful
day,
Ligia M. Houben,
MA, CGC, CPC
Certified Grief
Counselor - Life Transitions Coach
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